Piss-and-moan du jour!

Okay . . . here it comes. The gripe list of the day:

1. I'm tired!
Ian wanted my help with a video project for his French class last night. Of course, it was due today, which negates any hope of being able to do some and save the rest for later. Brilliant. Went to bed at a quarter to midnight. Had to get up at 5. Ugh.

2. I'm sick!
There is nothing that ticks me off more than nasal congestion. Seriously. I'll take bronchitis over it any day of the week. (Okay, slight exaggeration there, but I've had bronchitis before and it's not nearly as scary as it sounds.) I have managed to go to bed later than I anticipated two nights in a row now (the first was my fault, the second - see above) and with getting up by 5:00 every morning, it doesn't make for a lot of rest and recuperation, which leads me to . . .

3. I can't run!
I have a marathon in less than 30 days and I'm nowhere near as prepared as I should be! Part of it's my fault for not training better right from the get-go, and while I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself for that (it's a daunting task, but I know it's not going to be my last race), it still aggravates me that now that I need to knuckle down a bit more and go with it, I can't! I ran a few days ago before I really got knocked off my feet and it was fine, but now? I wouldn't be able to breathe all that well.

4. Work is lame!
I really want to stay home for a bit. The last two weekends haven't exactly been my own, so I've been in need of some R&R. Carol's been out sick, and while I wouldn't wish being sick on anyone and I don't blame her for getting sick (it happens), I wish she'd come back so the office wasn't so freaking stressful. Mostly the stress comes from trying to figure out who's doing what. Without the capabilities and the computer access to do all of the work that she's done, it's not like I can step in and do it for her. Ugh.



While I know that a lot of this stuff (okay, ALL of it) isn't really a big deal, it seems like it is right now in the heat of my frustration, upset and general ticked-offness about the whole shebang. I am going home tonight, will be going to bed early. Just me, some NyQuil (the good stuff!) and a cup of Sleepytime tea.

My bed with my beautiful fluffy down comforter is looking so lovely in my mind.

Fail.

When I started this blog, I really did intend for it to be reflective, thought-provoking and more intellectually-based ponderings while I drank my morning coffee. I have completely failed at this task for quite some time now.

Here's to a new start . . . and blogs for which the title is quite appropriate. :o)

Burden lifting.

I avoid my credit card statements like the plague. As soon as I get my little envelope from Golden 1 Credit Union, I usually tear it into a thousand pieces and throw it away. Don't worry -- I don't ignore the fact that I have a credit card and for that matter, credit card debt, but I definitely feel much more at ease with the situation by checking online. Something about seeing it online instead of in black and white print makes it that much less scary . . .

Internet banking and bill paying has become such a commodity in life. Even with the busiest schedule, I always squeezed in a few minutes here and there to check statements on my credit cards and make payments from my checking account to the credit card.

Today was a big day for me: I opened my statement. In the last couple of months, I have been making substantial payments to cover the balance. An immediate and entirely too ignorant sucker to the "buy now, pay later" idea behind credit cards, I got mine after my sophomore year of college. Within a year, I had charged, charged, charged and came dangerously close to my limit (we're talking within just a mere few dollars). It's been EXTREMELY hard to get myself out from under this pile when I haven't had the opportunity to generate enough income to do it until the last few months.

As I said, I've been paying much more substantial amounts than just my minimum balance and today, I realized that as of next month, I will be out of debt.

My shoulders feel light, my heart feels less tense and my general mood lifted so much when I realized this. I don't think I ever gave enough credit to how much money issues make a difference. I haven't been living outside of my means, but now that I'm living at home and don't have to worry about PG&E bills, rent, etc., I have been able to focus on learning about frugality and money management.

Frugality has been a recent development. Growing up, our family wasn't exactly affluent. We were really poor when I was young and over the years my parents have worked their way up and have built a much more comfortable life. My parents never gave allowance when we were kids, mostly because they felt that if there was something we really needed/wanted, they could find a way to make it happen. After I started working, though, my money was my own to do whatever I wanted with it. I never learned the value of saving and spending responsibly early, so I've learned some hard lessons about finances over the years.

Needless to say, I am elated to be seeing genuine progress and improvement in my habits with money, as well as my shrinking debt. :o)

I think the good, old-fashioned letter writing has gone out of style.

I think it needs to make a comeback.

List.

A small list of things I'm hopelessly addicted to, if not absolutely in love with:

1. Real Simple.
Best magazine. Ever. It's all about making life so much simpler. Easy recipes (I LOVE to cook, but don't do it often unfortunately), tips for making cleaning faster and more efficient, new uses for old products (I NEVER would have thought to use a travel soap case for my camera but it's so smart!), etc. Lovelovelovelovelove it.

2. Blogs.
I read everyone's blogs. I'm a blog stalker. I read blogs of people I don't even know. It's a compulsion.

3. Random medical information.
Working in a hospital has cultivated a strong desire to absorb as much medical information/trivia as I possibly can. I'm pretty sure I could tell you whether or not you actually have strep throat without the bacterial swab and if I'm feeling feisty, I will correct medical misconceptions.

4. Orthotic insoles for my running shoes.
Seriously. Made my run last night SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better and I have no shin splints or arch pain. Hachachacha! :o)

5. Nail polish changing.
I change the color as soon as I see a chip. I think chipped nail polish is distracting.

6. Research.
Sometimes I think my brain is going to explode for all of the information I want to cram into it.

7. Etiquette.
My latest, greatest obsession. Manners, etiquette, propriety. I feel like a Victorian and I love it. I've always been a HUGE advocate for "thank you" notes (my momma raised me right, ha ha), but lately I've been really trying to brush up on tips to keep me from having to pull my foot out of my mouth. I don't know why I like it so much.

8. Mucinex/expectorants.
I was very prone to respiratory infections as a kid. To this day, if I'm not puking all over the place, I will tough out colds/coughs and other chest viruses. On my medical record, I've had croup (ugh), RSV (no bueno) and bronchitis, all before the age of 5. I have to remind myself to be considerate of others and the fact that they might not share my inclination to "tough it out" (with appropriate amounts of rest and fluids and OTC assistance if needed). Currently, I've got myself a cold (cough and congestion type stuff). I don't know what it is about visitors that always bring out my respiratory weaknesses. When Jake would visit me in Fresno, I'd ALWAYS get sick afterward. However, expectorants are AMAZING.


Okay. I'm done with recommendations for the time being.

Refreshed. :o)

After days of taking it easy after a 10-mile run and a long weekend hosting my out-of-state buddy, Jonas, it was sooooooooooooo great to hit some pavement tonight and run. I worked pretty hard with my new insoles. The first time I tried to run with them, I could barely do two miles. They were stiff, awkward and slid around a bit. The girl at New Balance had told me that some people put them in over their regular insoles and others replace the originals. Without thinking, I figured that putting them over the top would have been fine. Noooooooooo. Definitely not. Ran tonight, trying it with just the new insoles . . . Holy crap what a difference. :o) I felt light, my feet felt amazing and I'm pretty sure I picked up some speed in the process.

Rock steady. :o)

This was just the kind of motivation I needed to get back on track.

Today . . .

I didn't actually cry over the spilled milk, which is good . . . because I think needed to save the tears for something more worthwhile.

Yep.

I told you so,
I told you so,
I told you so.



There.
I said it.
I put it in a blog because I could never say it to your face.

Stop!!!

The closer and closer April 26th gets, the more nervous and scared I become. It's a cliff, and as I'm moving towards it, I can feel my heels digging in.

I've worked so, so, so HARD to even get to this point, but I sabotage my own efforts to succeed even further. Now, as I'm sitting quietly in my room, I'm cursing the fact that I didn't warm up properly, that I would have been able to do the 10 mile run instead of a lousy 2-miler, and that tomorrow will be that much harder.

I'm having a heart-to-heart with Self, trying to remind Self that this is not forever. This is a means to an end and maybe, just maybe I'll like it more than I expected to.

The many weeks of being too lax with long training runs is coming back to bite me in the ass and I am just worried that I'm not gonna be able to do it in the end. Silly, I know, because I'm gonna get the credit for trying and even if it doesn't go as well as I'd like, it's the first one. There will be more. (After all, at the rate I'm running, Boston by 30 is looking more and more challenging.)

The people waiting at the finish line (figuratively and literally) are the ones who will still love me regardless of how well I do, but pride is obviously going to be what keeps me from wussing out at the last minute. (I hope.)

I'm trying to be light hearted and now that I've really recognized this "fear," I'm starting to thing I'll begin to laugh about my own perceived limitations. Any day now . . .

Here's to a better run tomorrow.

I'm itching, positively crawling out of my skin for spring cleaning. Gah! I can hardly wait . . .

Being a blog-stalker has proven to be pretty helpful at times, namely in finding blogs about being super-organized and purging of clutter. Current faves are:
http://smallnotebook.org/
http://www.realsimple.com/
http://unclutterer.com/

In the mean time, check out this oh-so-cute picture that I stole from Small Notebook. :o)

Yeah, same to you, buddy.

Seriously? Rude. Pretty freaking rude.

Have a day.