Floundering . . .

I feel a bit like I'm drowning at work . . . I feel like I don't have the ability to get ahead of my workload.

Praying for strength, I'm mentally tallying the list of things I need to get done in the coming days since today is once again a short week.

Things I should say to people, but I don't know if I ever will

Ten things, ten different people . . . (Okay, that second part isn't quite true . . . there are a couple for the same person and some that will overlap onto other people I didn't even think of, I'm sure.)

1. As mean as it sounds, I mean well when I say that ending our relationship was probably the best thing I ever could have done.

2. I know you mean well, but your brutal honesty is often more brutal than honest. It saddens me a bit that you don't seem to think that's an issue.

3. Your friendship has meant more to me than any other.

4. I think things are really weird and awkward between us right now, but I'm hopeful they'll sort out. It breaks my heart to think I could lose you.

5. God is watching out for you. Trust Him. You'll be surprised at how He will bless you.

6. I could hug you forever.

7. Secretly, I think you're kind of a jerk . . . but this makes me want to love on you so much more in hopes that one day you'll see how much God loves you too.

8. I love you more than you realize.

9. You are one of the most exquisite human beings I've ever seen. I get a little thrill just standing next to you . . . as if maybe I'll glean some of that radiance by osmosis.

10. I forgive you. I need you to not be afraid of that.

Let the word out, oh I'm feeling better now.

I watch "Cruel Intentions" whenever I'm feeling guilty, shameful or just downright rotten about myself. In my head, I tend to compare myself to people (bad habit, I know), so watching this movie just reminds me that I am not nearly as screwed up as the Valmont kids. It's a greater relief to know that than I could express.